The rush

Graduate! Travel the world! Have babies! Don’t have babies! Read more! Take extra courses! Volunteer! Find a job! Swipe the floor every day! Grow personally! Figure out your life!

Sounds familiar? We are in a very strange time of our lives now. One half of your friends is having babies, and the other one was so drunk last night they just woke up, in their own bed if they are lucky. It’s weird. It feels like doing nothing because you can’t really see the progress, but you are busier than ever. You are busy worrying and planning how to achieve everything that people (and yourself) expect from you.

I think I live a good life, I have all I need, and I don’t feel like I’m in a rush towards anything. But then I find myself LinkedIn creeping people, admiring photos of babies on Facebook, and then suddenly – I feel like I’m not doing anything really meaningful.

That’s not so bad though, social media creeping can give us motivation and new ideas about what we want to do in life. But the purpose is frequently missed – it just makes us feel bad.

When feeling bad about it grows into disappointed and moreover – guilty, we have a problem. Especially when it is about our achievements. It’s not the same feeling guilty for not doing the laundry that day and feeling guilty because you didn’t accomplish what you really wanted.

Or worse – feeling guilty and disappointed for not accomplishing something that was not your goal in the first place!  Why do you feel bad because someone got a job at google when that was not even your goal?

The problem is in our mindset. We tend to feel jealous. And jealousy is dangerous. It does not push us towards our goals, it just turns us against ourselves. Instead of feeling motivated, we feel disappointed in ourselves. Why? Because it is easier. In the next step, we realize that we will go nowhere will jealousy, and because we also want a job / a baby / career / travel the world / read more, we do stupid things. We set unrealistic goals.

In the moment you find yourself sending 30 CVs to pointless job ads, buying 17 new books on top of 20 unread at home, and you  buy plane tickets, just because we think we will solve the problem.

Wrong!

Patience is the answer. Proactive patience. Go for it, but go for what is wort and meaningful to you. Make realistic goals, don’t be afraid to make a list of things you deserve. Most of all, you deserve to be happy.

I don’t have my life figured out, I embraced that. Neither do I plan to having it any time soon. These things should come naturally, this is what I learned. Dreams and goals are things that come to you when you least expect it. I believe my dreamjob is more likely to be found on google maps rather than on webpages. Good things will come to us, we just need to breathe, give ourselves a break. Make a mistake or two, or even ten if that means you lived.

The only thing worth rushing to would probably be happiness, but I have never heard of someone becoming happy by impatiently running towards it.

So, to all non-believers, I am not finishing my masters / get a job at google / have two kids / get married / ride a unicorn / travel to the moon and back any time soon.

I will rather drink some good wine, play dobble with Joao, paint giraffes and blog. Boring, nothing to put in a CV, but happy and calm.

 

Love, E.

 

 

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