Had a lovely talk with my friend not so long ago. About relationships, of course. It was not about rainbows and unicorns, it was rather about butterflies that have got to be murdered.
We talked about the type of relationships we’ve all had before, the ones we will never forget or even get over. However, advice about them is clear – run. Run fast.
After meeting them, everything was perfect. You gave it all. It was so simple, seemeday so natural. When they were by you side, everything was easy. Recieving a text a day was enough for you, even though you’ve sent four. Until it just wasn’t enough anymore. When the initial craziness calmed down and the passion should transform into meaningful love, you realized you’re not recieving as much as you’re giving. And it’s bugging you. But he is still perfect, when you are with him, life is easy.
In the beginning, you had a feeling that neither of you didn’t really have to do anything. You were just being yourself without trying, and that was enough. Until it just wasn’t. In time, he invested his energy in other things- friends, studying, hobbies, sports, weed. But he was stil a part of your life and when you were lying in his arms, it was perfect. Even though he rarely had time and didn’t put much attention to you, for him the relationship still worked. But you, you were lonely. He was all you ever wanted, but you felt like you were not worthy of his attention.
This, my dear, is the worst feeling in the world and you don’t deserve it, need it, want it, call it whatever works for you. It only gets worse when on one point you start asking yourself “what did I do wrong? am I even good enough? It must work, he is perfect!”
He might be very dreamy, but the problem here is being and not doing. He is here, and that’s enough. It was from the beginning and because back then he didn’t have to do anything to make this relationship work but just be there, you both got used to that. Noone to blame. Only existing is not enough for a relationship to work. If we want to grow we must invest. We sould never crave for atention and hope for love, just because we can easily imaagine the future with him. The catch is to see the futre in you as a couple. The questions transforms from “is he all I eed” to “are we all I need?”.
Once you choose, your goal is no longer “help him grow and develop for the better”, but to se you develop to your full potential.
I choose you, because I can see myself growing by your side. I will not only be, I promise I will give and do. Noone will ever be left behind.
I choose you, I choose us.