Sitting on the dock of the bay

Today is the day. The day when I start to write in english. Since my life is getting yet another international dimension, I figured it’s about time. The goal is to translate all posts from my old blog (cherryminds.blogspot.com), but I know myself very well and I know it might never happen. Still, setting goals is important they say.

In this moment, I’m sitting on a train to escape sightseeing in busy Porto. Direction? Beach. I deserve it, I deserve to spend a day doing absolutely nothing. As you do.

A week ago I had a pretty harsh conversationwith one of my mentors. It gave me a lot of material to think. To think about who are you to tell me that Sitting on the dock of the bay is a bad idea for my future? So… I told him I was moving to Malta for a few months and then I will pack my bags again, for another international experience. This time in Belgrade. Since all my exams are done and I’m not even nearly ready to settle for a whatever job I get in this very inspiring world full of opportunities for young psychologists, I think another year of international environment sounds awesome. Not to everyone apparently. Not to those who had plans for me. “A plan for me? What plan?” I asked, obviously irritated. “A plan where you develop your full potential, a plan where running away is not your way of life”

I had two things to say, but I streched my impulsive defensive personality and remained quiet. Not easy. I decided to keep my mouth shut because I have nothing to prove to people who have a plan for me. I mean, who the f* are you to have a plan for me? Even I don’t dare to create a plan for my life, because I’m afraid it could limit me. In the end, life will always give me what I need. Not what I want, what I planned, or what the others planned for me, but always what I need. Ever since I developped this way of thinking, good things happen to me. So in my opinion, having a plan for your life is just pointless. But having a plan for someone else, this is just mean and disrespectful. We can have wishes and maybe even suggestions, but plans? bravo, go for it, it takes a lot of courage.

The story might not tell you much, but it might make a point – sorry not sorry, but your plan for my career plan doesn’t work for me. The only plan you can make is the one where you take me for an adventure. I promise it will be a lot of fun. Apparently it’s noone’s job to make life-plans for me. Call it defense mechanism or simply life giving you what you need to learn something about yourself.

Today, I will do nothing but sit on the beach and no 2-year career plan will be followed. Maybe one day I will think differently and I will regret not putting all my efforts into the career development. But not today. Today is a beautiful day for my feet to touch the Atlantic ocean. Call it a plan if you dare 🙂

I might be running, but I’m running towards something. If for you this means running away, then please let me go. Done, mic drop.

A wise man later said to me that I should be honored someone sees me do big things. But for now, I can only see myself go places. Without big plans, only big dreams.

Love, E.

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